My Transition

It is a major decision, and as many have said there is no right or wrong way to transition. I know a few people who are fine just knowing they are trans and doing nothing about it. I know many individuals who are fine with just HRT, I know plenty of individuals who are just fine with just dressing, and I know plenty of individuals who feel they only need those two things. I know a few individuals who have regretted not starting either one of these things.

I know plenty of individuals who have regretted getting a trans related surgery (TRS). I know a few who have regretted not getting a TRS.

When I first was coming to terms with myself I was ready to change everything, I was already looking forward to HRT, clothing, and Genital Reconstructive Surgery, I had read a lot of the popular culture literature and some of the scientific literature I felt I was ready. The first step came, go see a psychiatrist, and I got scared 😱 so scared that I backed out. I was fine living the lie that I had been living for 24 years. A little more than a year went by and I decided I needed to be out so I called up the psychiatrists office to see if they would still take me, they didn’t. So I needed to see a new psychiatrist, so I drove the 2 hour one way drive to visit their office for 15 minute appointments 2 times. Right after the first appointment I started dressing the part while I was in private. I showed up as me (I did not know I was Reann yet but I knew I was a woman). That doctor sent a referral to another 2 doctors one to start HRT and one so I could have the second opinion, I decided I would be fine with just the Oestrogen and the clothing. A few years went by and I came out everywhere except work, well I half assed my coming out at work the first time. At that time I was going to be fine without GRS.

A year went by and I decided I needed GRS, but I felt trapped not knowing where to turn. About another 0.5 years went by and than I needed to be out, like all the way out. Due to me being all the way out I started dealing with some work BS and my mother had enough of me not putting up with her BS so she wrote a letter and stuck it to my front door. Because of all the BS I nearly took my own life but I found the help I needed and was put into the psychiatric centre, where I was referred to a psychiatrist that can give the okie dokie for GRS.

I have been full time for close to 2 years, I have been socially full time for a little more than 3 years. I have been on HRT for a little less than 4 years. I was in and out of the closet for about 2.5 years, and so far out that I cannot see the closet any more for close to 3 years. It was a little less than 2.5 years ago that I decided that I needed GRS.

Once I finally started HRT, I could not imagine life without the complete set that makes up my dangly bits. Now that I can see my potential surgery time coming up, unless Sask health or Montreal does something I can count the number of months on one hand until I get stuff lopped off (I know how the surgery is preformed and I hope people see my sarcasm) I cannot imagine a life with that stuff.

As some people have stated, they are concerned about the loss of sensation. I am to, however I am at a point where that would be better than having my dangly bits. Sure surgery complications are a risk, but so is walking down the street. I like sex with men, not really the romance thing but I do like sex with them. Having a vagina could be fun for that even if I cannot feel it just having the man on me would be great. There are many women both, cis and trans, who like anal more so there is that option to and at this time I really like anal! I like women romantically, I have not had sex with a woman as Reann yet but I am starting to open up to the idea.