I don’t need my feet and only one hand to count down the days.
I will wait for the co-op strike to be over before I ceremonially return my left over Spiro.
Today is the last HVCA meeting my dangly bits will be still attached to me.
Today my psychiatrist gets to see me dressed up as anxiety! She will hopefully be able to find other ways to calm my nerves or she could just drug me.
Today my psychologist will talk to me about the anxiety that is building up, and it will be very much appreciated.
1 days until the last time I see my chiropractor with extraverted junk.
2 days until the last day I could eat chicken nuggets from a fast food joint without fearing they where this chicks nuggets.
2 days until I need to be packed for Montreal.
2 sleeps in Saskatoon with dangly bits.
3 days until I travel to Montreal.
3 days until I need to transfer planes with the extra baggage attached to me.
5 days until the last ever time I could wake up with morning wood. (If I still did that)
5 days until my remodelling.
5 days until I will probably stop my count down.
6 days until I could wake up with phantom wood.
8 days until I am out of the Hospital.
10 days until I can see my vagina.
10 days until I begin taking Sitz baths
10 days until I start dilating 4 times a day
10 days until the Removal of Urinary catheter
10 days until I will consider starting my count down again, hopefully I consider not to.
13 days until I come home.
13 days until I get to go through airport security with dilators!
16 days until I write the article I am wanting to write.
21 days until I my menopause stops.
26 days until dilation schedule changes to 3 times a day.
28 to infinity days until I can vaginally climax.
39 to 57 days until I can go swimming with the remodelling.
49 days until I should start taking probiotics for vaginal health and smell.
64 days until I get to start getting Laser beams or lightning bolts to my girly bits for hair removal.
64 days until I can explore my clitoral area.
64 days until I stop taking Sitz baths.
64 days until I can dilate two times a day.
86 days until I need to see an endo about my hormones.
90 days until I can start receiving cunnuslingus.
90 days until I can restart having anal sex.
90 days until I could change to coconut oil for dilation.
111 days until I can claim lube on my taxes.
125 days until I find out how much money I will get back for my lube this year.
280 days until my first birthday with no dangly bits.
345 days until I get to celebrate a new Star Wars movie Dangly bit free.
357 days until I need to come up with a new news years resolution.
372 days until my pussy coughs up a hair ball (I can get any pubic hairs removed from inside my vagina)
372 days until I dilate once a week!