I was sexually harassed recently so I was looking for a trans specific resource, I found very few valid resources or shared experiences. I think that needs to change, so I am going to write about some of my experiences.
I absolutely hate guessing at what peoples gender is, for work I am supposed to do that. For a little bit I was making lite of my pain saying “sorry I need to ask if you are male or female.” Until I came across someone who may have identified outside of binary, was coming out as trans, or one of countless other things I said that line and there response was “Oh what should I saw?” I felt so bad. I have found another way that I can do that after every time I ask what is his/her marital status, rather than there which I hate as I am still using the binary and assuming genders.
Neighbours procreated recently and after the mother gave birth, I saw the father and asked how the child was, what was there name, and then if it was a boy or a girl. I hopped into my car and wow it hit me, and it hit me hard I just asked what was between there child’s legs. Why did I do that? I am not going to try and sleep with this little child so why does it matter.
In queer settings I always introduce myself as Reann, and I use the pronouns she and her. My email signature is; Reann Legge I use the pronouns she/her http://www.reannlegge.com. In queer settings if the person does not offer there pronouns I make sure to ask. Two things I hate, when people say “what do you think?” Or “I don’t care, what pronouns you use.”
I was out and I ran into someone I had not seen in a long time, they had recently had a child. I did the whole are they happy and health thing, and was walking away. The mother than very loudly asked, “well do you not want to know if it is a boy or a girl?” I think this person was trying to embarrass me for not following the social script of asking “does your child have boy or girl parts.” I just turned around and said at an equally loud volume “I don’t need to know what is inbetween their legs!” I turned back around and carried on my marry way.